Waterpolo bound...

About three weeks ago, Chris found a waterpolo club in the area. He'd seen it before but the times didn't work for us then. With everything going a bit wrong lately, we decided it would be good for him to join the club now and get back into the sport he loves. So he did. And it's been a great experience.

And after 2 practices, he already had a tournament this past weekend. We couldn't do the Sunday games but he went to the Saturday ones. Caelen and I joined for the morning one. Despite his love of water, Caelen didn't care much for what was happening and happily played with his truck the whole time. He watched from time to time saying "dada, dada". Too cute.

I wasn't able to get pictures inside the sports center (not allowed) so here are some shots from after.

Doesn't he look cute with his waterpolo cap?

Caelen will apparently play the following sports in order to become an awesome (and Olympian) waterpolo player: soccer, basketball and swimming. That's what his daddy says anyways. Oh, and at some point, we will have to live in an Eastern European country in order for him to do some training too. I guess, I just hope we have a girl at some point and that she'll like ballet. But she'll probably be roped into playing waterpolo. You see, waterpolo is a family affair on the Dean side (me being the exception.)

Pomegranate

The Babe loves fruits and veggies. This past weekend he tried a pomegranate. His first one. 

Needless to say, he is hooked.

I love that he loves everything.

Open to the idea of being wrong.

The other day on my way home from work, I was listening to NPR and they were interviewing Meghan McCain about her new talk show.  While explaining her approach to viewing and learning about things, she said something that struck me: "I'm open to the idea that I could be wrong." Mentioning the dreadful shutdown and showdown in Congress, she said that she has always wanted to see the other side of opinions and see if maybe she was wrong. It got me thinking. Hard. Am I truly open to the idea of being wrong? Who is truly always right? No one. If you believe in God, then Him. But you? me? Never. We never are always right.

I've got opinions. Lots of them. If you're looking for an opinion, come find me, I'll give you one. I'll share. Thinking about Congress and how stubborn everyone seems is frustating to me. And everyone else. But don't we all do the same showdown about a bunch of stuff once in a while? I know I do. I'll be the first to admit that admitting I am wrong is one of the hardest thing for me to do.

There are certain things, such as my faith, that will not change because of my personal experiences, witnesses and convictions. Does that mean I know everything, of course not; not even about my own religion. It does mean, however, that as I learn I will incorporate these facts into what I have received for myself, and grow from here.

My principles are important and guide what I do.  I am confident in that. However, it is my responsibility to seek, listen and learn all sides of an issue. I must learn what others see in order to make meaningful compromises and meet in a place where all points of view are expressed and satisfied. How we raise our child, live our religion, eat our food, clean the bathroom, are all things that we have discussed as a couple. We've argued over them and weighted what options were best, sometimes one of us has the better option and sometimes we come up with a novel idea that satisfies both sides. We compromise and recognize that maybe we weren't right after all. Chris is great at admitting he is wrong. He doesn't wait around to say it and he doesn't shy away while saying it. Me, it's another story. I have to "process" that I am wrong. Then swallow it, digest it and then at some point admit it. And often, I don't say it out loud. And that's where it hurts. Hurts me the most because in the end, I'm not showing that I actually was wrong and that I am open to change.

Being open to the idea of being wrong means we are open to change, to see what others can see from their vantage point. Agreeing to disagree doesn't open your mind to another's view. It merely touches it because in the end we are unwilling to let it enter and help us see the "issue" from that different vantage point.

Being wrong is ok. There is nothing wrong with being wrong. We are all wrong about many things. So why being so embarrassed about being wrong? Rather, we should embrace the ability we inately have to listen, learn, and change our minds. There is nothing shameful about changing our minds. Nothing wrong with being wrong.  As long as we actually are open to change once better information, options have been studied, offered and are available.

I dislike being wrong. Mainly because it challenges my idea of rightness. How can others not see my point and understand it? Well, they aren't me. I'm not you. And unless you help me put myself in your shoes, I will neither see it nor understand it.

I want to be challenged, changed and I appreciate being able to see what another sees. I was wrong about how my life would turn out. I was wrong about so many things. And yet, here I am. Proud of who I am and where my wrongs have taken me. I'm open to see what I can't yet see, learn and change.

Being wrong is only human. We are meant to learn and change.

PS: Here is a TED talk I really liked called "On Being Wrong". The speaker is Kathryn Schulz: http://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong.html

The thing about optimism

For those who know me very well  know that there is one thing difficult above all for me: optimism. I've always thought of myself as a realist more than a pessimist but yet, in the most difficult times of my life, it seems pessimism was the winner. It's hard to think that way. Hard, in the way, that it gets tough on the mind, the soul. It brings you down often. Often I hear others say "just look at the bright side of things" "think positively" and that's all great, fine and dandy and man, I would love to but most times, I can do it for a good 5mns and then pouf it's gone. Anyways, a few months ago I got tired. Tired of being told those things.

After a lengthy discussion with a great friend, we set out to look to see if there was a way to learn optimism. After all, we obviously didn't know how and being told happy thoughts doesn't work so was there a way to learn? I found a book called "Learned Optimism" by Dr. Seligman. And despite the lengthy medical terms and such, I think it was amazing. And it actually taught me how to practice optimism, how to re-evaluate, how to argue with myself, and see how pessimism can be good (and sometimes should be used) and how optimism can improve my life. Certain past things probably traumatized me at some points (I know what they are -  but never thought of them as the reasons for my mind processing ways) - teaching me that sometimes things are insurmountable and without escape. But ultimately they are not and I can teach myself how to escape them.

This whole jumble of blab-la is probably boring, not even making sense but I know that one of the hardest thing this generation faces is depression. Depression is extremely difficult to deal with and if you have never experienced it, you don't know how it feels and how devastating it is from the inside. You just don't. There is no way to describe the sorrow it brings to the one experiencing it. Learning optimism is key to avoid unnecessary distress, depression and awful self-esteem. I think if someone out there is trying like me to learn how to be an optimist,or how to be a better one, a more balanced one, a better help to someone trying to be more optimistic then read that book from Dr. Seligman. It's a great start.

Bad days suck. They took me far down to where I almost never came back. But I know that yet after those days, I have found strength and looked back to see that those days, no matter how awful they were, gave me the possibility to learn about myself. And I found positive in the midst of chaos. I do believe that there is always good, but sometimes depending on the circumstances, it might not be found until later, sometimes years later. And that's hard. But at least and at last, it comes.

Being an optimist might never be my biggest strength. It's ok. I still have the ability to see the good, the wonderful, the amazing and strive off of it. I can learn to be an optimist, and see the "plus" side of things. While also keeping in balance a touch of realism.

Life throws a lot of punches. Some we take better than others. Some really hurt. But how good does it feel when we can punch back and say: "oh yeah, bring it on!" Life wasn't meant to be easy but it's meant to be lived, felt and sensed.

To the many punches we have all taken, the ones we've thrown back, and the joys that came with them.

Life truly is beautiful. Being a bit more optimistic makes it even better.

Ragnar

A couple of months ago, one of our friends mentioned they were looking for some runners for their Ragnar team. I had heard of the race before and thought this would be a great way to get back to a workout routine and do something fun and challenging.So I signed up, told my friend Dustin about it, he signed up also and off to start training for this. The race was this past Friday and Saturday and in one word it was awesome!

I mean, who wouldn't do a 200 mile race with 11 other people on your team? Our race was from Cumberland, Md to DC's National Harbor. We went up on Thursday night with part of the team and started with the first wave of runners on Friday morning at 5:30am. I was Runner #2 in Van #1. My 3 legs were #1 - 6.3 miles "very hard", 4.5 miles "moderate" and 2.8 miles "easy". I'm lucky, despite the fact that my legs were challenging for me, they weren't the hardest ones on the course. I knew most of the people on my team but not everyone and it was fun to get to know some new faces, cheering for each of them and telling them how proud we felt every time someone finished their leg. For October we had an heat index of 99 degrees so it was hot and humid. Van #2 did some of the toughest legs with this awful heat and they rocked it! This was a great experience for me because lately it's been tough and accomplishing something positive, hard and doing it well, was needed.

I am proud of myself for running a nice steep 2 miles hill without walking, smashing my toe nail during the 4 mile downhill, running 4.5 miles in pitch black dark night despite being scared of being alone in the dark, pushing myself mentally to finish despite wanting to puke most of my last leg. I'm proud of myself for finishing all my legs faster than the estimated time. I came in 13mns faster on my last one than predicted. I'm proud of my teammates for running so hard, so well and for laughing just as hard at all the fun stuff along the way. We all ran "Like A Boss!"(this funny mullet headed kid at one of the exchanges kept saying that and it stuck with our van the whole rest of the race).

What a fun race despite how sore I feel today. I slept like a baby last night, took another nap this morning and the plan is to lay on the couch pretty much the rest of the day. This was truly an awesome experience.

I can't wait to do another one. There will be another one. Let's find one www.ragnarrelay.com